Saved
by NamelessMoonshine
Summary: ShadowxYou decide poem sorta thing. What happens the third time Shadow is saved by the one he loves. Kinda angsty too


This is kinda an angsty poem that Bil (to understand you'd have to read her  
poem "All Of Me") wrote a little while back. The voices in my head made me  
post it as a Shadow/? romance thing. It's PG for suicide and stuff.  
  
If you enjoy this poem, you can read Bil's other works at allpoetry.com ^-^  
  
*********************  
  
Saved ~Bil  
  
*********************  
  
I'm dying all over again  
Pain is ripping through my soul  
But, I'm happy  
Because I got to see you smile  
Yet, I'm sad  
Because you also cried  
And, I'm angry  
Because you tried to stop me  
Still, I'm confused  
Because you wouldn't let go  
Though, I'm scared  
Because you were screaming  
Only, I'm aching  
Because you couldn't stop calling for me  
Also, I'm ashamed  
Because it's going to hurt you more  
You're throwing yourself against the wood  
Begging for me to come out  
To not do anything rash  
Well, look who's talking  
You're always getting into trouble  
You're crying now  
I can hear you slumping against my barrier  
You're weeping, my name broken in your tears  
Beseeching for me to save us both  
Hoping against hope that I'll listen  
Wailing that you won't survive without me here  
Praying that that'll I'll repay your favor  
When you found me  
When you nursed me back to health  
When you gave me a light of faith  
Maybe even a reason to live  
I hold the knife to my wrist  
Trying to focus  
On what I was so intent on doing  
Only moments ago  
Then you shriek  
You yell out something I told you  
A long time ago  
Something it took me forever to say  
Something with so many meanings that it had me frightened  
And I hid  
But you found me  
Then learned my secret  
Then saved me the second time  
By loving me back  
I can hear your strangled cries  
I'm killing you too  
I look at my hand, my wrist  
No longer mine  
Your life is what I'm looking at  
I'd forgotten how our lives are tied  
We are connected  
And my death would lead you to follow  
Untimely  
I refuse to kill you  
You've quieted  
Do you think I'm already gone?  
That I wouldn't hear?  
Shame on you  
I put down the blade and go to the door  
I open it for you  
You are curled in a small ball  
Sniffling  
I kneel beside you  
You don't see  
You're eyes are glazed with tears  
Because you think you've lost me  
You're dying inside already  
Pining  
You let out a cracked moan  
Of pain  
And longing  
And your eyes close  
As you begin to shiver  
Whispering that you wish I was there  
To wrap my arms around you  
And warm you  
Comfort you  
And tell you I'd would never leave  
And you give way to silent tears  
You're killing me now  
But I deserve it  
You must be so afraid  
So of course you don't see me yet  
I place my arms around you  
Pulling you to my chest  
Running my hand down your face  
To soothe you  
You stiffen  
And your eyes travel to my glove  
You blink and take my hand  
Holding it, pulling off the glove to see if it's real  
I stand, bringing you up with me  
And you turn around in my arms  
To stare at the one you thought was dead  
You've given me that look once before  
Pulling you closer to embrace you tightly  
And whisper in your ear to stop crying  
You're just standing there  
Tears still streaming down your face  
I push you at arms length  
And you look back at me  
I think of how to convince you it's me  
Since your face is disbelieving  
I grin when I realize  
The perfect method  
I take your chin  
And pull your lips to mine  
In surprise, you squeal  
But the sound is crushed  
The moment your lips are mine  
I pull you close  
And you began to kiss back  
We break apart finally  
And I think you're almost sure  
Your eyes look into mine  
Questioning  
Begging  
I shake my head, and smile gently  
And you sob  
Throwing your arms around my neck  
Breathing heavily your thanks  
Your hands trailing through my quills like they always do  
Your face buried into my shoulder  
Warm breath brushing against my fur  
Your passion burning into my ruby eyes  
Til I feel my own tears  
Happy  
Sad  
Angry  
Confused  
Scared  
Aching  
Ashamed  
All for you  
I'll always be there  
To hold you  
And save you  
And keep you as close as possible  
To the ones you care about  
All 78 ga-gillion of 'em  
Have I ever told you  
That you care too much?  
Well, I lied  
I think you care just the right amount  
We just need to do something  
About that I-Don't-Give-A-Damn  
Attitude of yours  
You're exhausted, I can tell  
Fighting for life does that  
I pick you up and cradle you against  
My chest  
You're still murmuring thank yous  
Over and over  
I shush you and kiss your forehead  
Telling you it's bedtime  
For you anyway  
You panic  
Don't you trust me?  
You're afraid  
That I'll forget while you're asleep  
And I won't stay  
You wrap your arms around me  
And pull yourself as close as you can  
Before burying your face in my chest  
You hold me tightly, even as I lay you down  
I have to pry off your arms  
I'm only just leaving when you take my hand  
And ask me to stay  
Until you fall asleep  
I'll oblige  
Until you're not afraid anymore  
I didn't realize at first  
What my selfishness  
My fear of this new world  
Could've done to you  
I'll never destroy you like that  
Never  
Because I'd rather go to Hell  
Then know that while I'm at peace  
You will slowly die  
Your eyes will fade  
Your fur will lose it's luster  
And you won't be able to give the smile  
That I love so much  
I don't want that to happen to you  
I won't try it again until you're gone  
Then I'll have a new reason  
To be with you  
And you won't have to worry then  
Cause we only die once  
The knife I left in the bathroom falls  
Thudding on the tile  
Echoing throughout our home  
You've saved my life again today  
I won't hurt you like that anymore  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
______  
  
How'd you like it? Compliment or flame, I'm sure Bil will be grateful that  
you at least looked. 


End file.
